I should be sleeping. Instead I lay in bed, fully clothed, contemplating. How am I supposed to sleep comfortably when things are going the way they are?

He lost his job, then his home. It's the story so many Americans tell these days. All that's left are memories of the days when money was not an issue and a bond stronger than unemployment or homelessness.

And though I try to stay strong for him, for myself, for US, I can't help but realize I hurt more each day. Adolescent acne has returned to my once clear face with a vengeance; my once even toned skin is blotchy and yellowed from malnourishment, because I won't eat if he isn't. My eyes are swollen and sore from days of sobbing, my lips swollen from wailing and screaming. But the countless tears do nothing but pave the way for more salty emissions streaming down my cheeks, endless waterfalls that can't and will not stop.

My eyelids are beginning to droop and my muscles hurt. So I will lock this pain in a lockbox that will keep it out of my way for the time being.0

Me? A Hypocrite?

Before I say anything else, let me say that I'm such a hypocrite. You'll find out why a little later.


Facebook is a trip. I don't understand why people take so much literally on Facebook. It's a social networking site, and it's online. Why do you think that everything I put up there is true? And what's more, why do you think that I care about what you say about what I put up there?

I decided to marry Jay on Facebook. Now, it's not exactly untrue but we're not married (yet). Now, if you've ever married someone on Facebook, you know how it shows up on everybody and their momma's page and then the comments start coming in. The funniest comment? A call from a guy I knew way back when who left me a hilarious "you have made a big mistake" message on my voice mail (I saw him call me but wondered why the hell he was calling and ignored it lol).

Hater.

----

Back to me being a hypocrite. I have some news to share:

I bought an iPhone 3GS.

That doesn't sound like earth shattering news, but you have to remember I've been dead set AGAINST the iPhone movement for quite some time.

Oh well. The phone is freakin awesome.

More on that later...