Saturday, November 1, 2008

I Guess I'm Supposed to be Scared?

Tonight is (well, was at the time of this post) Halloween night. Ooooooo.

On college campuses, Halloween night is a chance for all the "good girls" to dress like sluts and get away with it. They purchase outfits like the one you see to the right, and they do their hair all pretty and wear the perfect bra and strut around in 30 degree weather with no coat trying to look cute for a party.

They don't even get free candy out of the deal.

Last year, I was a freshman. I fell into the trap of being able to wear a sexy Halloween costume. Biggest waste of money ever.

See, what college students don't seem to realize is that when you're a student, you have more financial obligations. And though I had the money at one time to buy a costume, I just couldn't justify spending that much money on a one time outfit.

If I want to be revealing and show off my figure, I have plenty of figure-revealing clothes in my closet that i don't have to reserve for a purely fictional holiday.

The thing is, nothing special or out of the ordinary is going on. It's going to be the normal frat parties this weekend, where the normal people come out and dance all drunk because they've more than likely pregamed before they even reached the party.

I've reached an epiphany on this whole college drinking thing. So many people are so anxious to drink, but for what? They take back shots, which are disgusting, and they buy bottles of cheap vodka and juice and carry it in water bottles. But what for? For the sake of being drunk? Of waking up and not remmebering the night before? At the risk of making a complete fool of yourself in front of people you may or may not know?

I went to the frat last night for a costume party (I wasn't really dressed like anything, just stuntin as usual) and there was a really REALLY drunk girl. The thing is, I know the girl because she lives on the floor under Big Bro and so I see her at his apartment a lot. And she's a pretty cool girl. But last night she was more gone than a monkey on crack. She fell asleep on the couch showing her ass under her costume, she slapped the guy who tried to pick her up and carry her into the back (with no bad intentions, only to remove her from the main party), and - get this ya'll - she started playing with herself on the couch in front of the entire party. She was going at it!! It was probably the nastiest thing I've ever seen in my life. Finally, I was able to talk her into getting up and going into the back room, where she passed out until this morning sometime. I don't know when she went home or if she knows what she did last night, but I know anybody else who was there remembers, all too well.

I'd like to propose this. If you know a female who drinks way too much, and she gets sloppy when she's drunk, and it's a bad look and you want her to shape up, call Maury and throw her on the show!!

Just kidding.

Someone should make a documentary about drunken females and tape real live drunk females in action. This is no Girls Gone Wild franchise, more like Crackheads Gone Wild. If the girl has an ounce of common sense and doesn't want to be trashy, she'll change her drinking ways.

If not, she's a lost cause, and you'll just have to wait for her to grow out of it, while in the meantime denying that you are associated with her in any way.


Important sidenote: I had a free burrito from Chipotle today, and it was satisfying and delicious. For $7 a pop, though, they're pricey. Chipotle joins Panda Express on my list of foods you gotta budget for to eat. You can't just jump up and go to Chipotle or Panda Express on a whim; that's what McDonalds is for. If you wanna eat at one of those two places you'd better plan in advance.

Unless, of course, you're rich enough to afford an expensive Halloween costume, in which case you obviously don't care much about where your money goes anyway.

1 comment:

SweetHunniTeah said...

i love the part of the drunk girl cuz that was HILARIOUS!!!! she was feelin herself it was so nasty. quick sidenote... we saw her ass and everything else!!
i <3 this post