It was first used in China and India, then brought to America as a gift from a Turkish sultan. It's explicit use causes no deaths; it's not addictive, it has few negative immediate side effects other than dry mouth and red eyes, and there's no conclusive evidence of an adverse effect on youth.
So why is marijuana illegal?
Let's Take It Back: To The Original Law
The Controlled Substances Act of 1970 was not the first act to ban marijuana. A man named Harry J Anslinger, the commissioner of the Treasury's Department of the Federal Bureau of narcotics, headed the effort toward banning marijuana. He was unmotivated by any real risks of weed, though. His reasons for pursuing the movement against marijuana were founded in racial concerns directed at Mexicans in Southwest states. Anslinger effectively tied a distrust of immigration with outlandish claims that the drug makes people "crazy", is a gateway to other drugs such as cocaine and heroine, and is an "assassin of youth". He manipulated the media, driving the public into a fear frenzy.
Around this time, a ban on machine gun tranfer was being created. This ban stated that a person could only transfer a machine gun if they paid for and possessed a special stamp from the government, a stamp that the government was not making. The act was certainly deceiving in practice, but the Supreme Court upheld it as Constitutional.
This ban is what led the way to the first ban on marijuana, the Marijuana Stamp Act of 1937. Following in the footsteps of the law used before it, this act required anyone transporting, using, or possessing marijuana to have a stamp purchased from the government. The problem was, in order to get the stamp, you had to show proof of the marijuana in question. Since possessing the marijuana was against the law until you had the stamp, you were incriminating yourself by producing evidence. I can't help but wonder where the Fifth Amendment was when all this was happening. I plead the fifth...
In 1970, however, Timothy Leary challenged the constitutionality of this act and won. It seemed like things had taken a turn for the better for marijuana smokers. Alas, this was not to stay, as this victory was followed by the Controlled Substances Act of 1970. This act classifies narcotics in schedules and declares their possession, use, transport or sale illegal.
Marijuana is a Schedule I hallucinogen, which under the act means that it (a) has a high potential for abuse, (b)has no currently accepted medical treatment in the United States, and (c) is not safe for use even under medical supervision.
Those Were Just The Facts...
The case for legalization of marijuana rests in the midst of a he say, she say battle. Advocates of legalization think that because it isn't addictive, it won't kill you, and it has few other side effects, it should be legal. They also rely heavily on the use of alcohol and tobacco, pointing out that these two substances are way more powerful and dangerous than marijuana. Those against legalization think that marijuana is dangerous because of its hallucinogenic properties and that it's use causes a marked enough difference in normal functionality that it presents a danger to those around anyone under the influence of the substance.
I take issue with government criminalization of marijuana because of the process that was taken to go about it. Marijuana wasn't banned because it genuinely had adverse effects that would be potentially harmful to the American people; it was banned because a government was afraid of an immigrant minority. The (first) ban on marijuana was nothing but an empty campaign based on racism and prejudice.
I take issue with the second ban because marijuana is placed with the likes of methamphetamine, heroine, and cocaine, to name a few. The criteria for determining a Schedule 1 drug, listed above, don't describe the attributes of marijuana. If anything, marijuana is the opposite of these characterizations.
Legalizing marijuana would certainly make it easier for those who wish to obtain it. But it seems to do very well illegally.
My only fear in legalizing marijuana is that it will not become a dream world of open marijuana smoking should it be legalized. We have to be realistic. If we could convince the government to legalize marijuana, it would not be a "Weed For All" bonanza. The government would create rules, regulations, and laws, just as it applies to alcohol and tobacco. And it would likely be sold in stores on shelves, meaning no new jobs would be created by the sale of the drug. In fact, because the government would tax it, the money would be going out of the community and instead into the government's hands.
But look at it from another point of view. Drug dealers are made out to be horrible, money hungry people. I look at them as entrepreneurs, simply because they are in control of their "business". They handle transactions and must budget, just as a business owner would. They have to decide the value of their product, then attempt to make a profit based on their estimated value. It's a store; what these people do isn't dumb. Drug dealers are seldom dumb because they risk losing profit if they aren't careful. The only problem is that they are using an illegal substance to channel their abilities.
I don't think marijuana is really as harmless as the government wants everyone to believe, but I certainly don't think it should just run around rampant. Honestly, I'd rather the government only regulates what happens to you if you get caught versus regulating the obtaining and use of the drug. In other words (and yes, I'm really making this case), keep marijuana illegal JUST to keep the government from having more control over it.
Backwards, I know. But that's just me. I think weird sometimes.
What do you think?
*Note: I am not a marijuana smoker. But I know enough people around me to know its effects, and to have a look into the life of a drug dealer. May I also note that my facts came from a Wikipedia article and a wonderful documentary entitled Hooked: Illegal Drugs And How They Got That Way. Check it out on Youtube.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
And The Vote Is Going In...
I'm officially submitting my ballot for the 2008 Presidential Election tomorrow. That's right...I'm marking down MY CHOICE for the election and sending it in A FULL WEEK before anyone else gets to.
No long lines at polling places, no hassles, no traveling, no nothing.
Can you tell I'm pretty excited about this? Well I am.
No, I'm not telling who I'm voting for. I refuse. It's not that I mind sharing my decision, it's just that I don't feel like arguing back and forth with people over why I feel justified in my choice. And yes, I'm an informed voter, thank you very much (shout out to Mrs. Sheila Lent here. She was my Law teacher and American Government teacher in high school. If it weren't for her I would not be so into government and law and politics). I watched the presidential debates in their entirety and even watched the vice presidential debates. I know where the candidates stand on their issues and I have my reasons for choosing who I choose.
I'm so excited I can hardly sit still. Or maybe it's just the cup of coffee I drank.
-----
I spent 4 almost consecutive hours Stumbling. After being advised on how cool the service was (shout out to my bff Bushra, who has her own blog now, so check it out!!), and having nothing better to do today, I decided to give it a try.
Talk about addictive.
Let me explain how it works. You sign up and tell the service what you're interested in, like movies, shopping, etc. There's a little toolbar you install (simple and small) and then you click the button that says "Stumble!". You are instantly (depending on computer speed) taken to a random website that Stumble Upon thinks you would like. As if that weren't enough, the Stumble toolbar offers buttons with a thumbs up or thumbs down that you can push if you really like or dislike a site. Say, for instance, you come across a website for the Darwin Awards*. If you really like the website, push the thumbs up and Stumble Upon will adjust your settings so that you get more sites like it.
*For those who may be confused, the Darwin Award is named after Charles Darwin and is awarded to people who kill themselves in stupid ways. I'm not gonna lie, I spent like 40 minutes reading through dumb deaths.
So far, I've found some pretty addicting games, a free service that will call your cellphone at your designated time, a website with mathematical evidence that girls are evil, a website for the American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention, optical illusions, an instructional website for growing your own marijuana, and a website where I discovered my IQ could be over 160 which makes me almost a genius (when you see the website you'll understand why).
I'm now left with a decision: continue Stumbling through the Internet, or start up a nice healthy game of the Sims? Hmmm...tough decision...
-----
Seems like Mother Nature has a good sense of humor.
Apparently she knew about my complaints on the volatility of Chicago/Dekalb weather and decided she hadn't been extreme enough in the past.
Yesterday, in the span of 10 minutes (at the most), we experienced bright sunshine, rain, snow, and hail. Anything that COULD fall from the sky WAS. And it went back and forth between the sun and the rain/snow/hail at least three times. It was actually kind of scary because I thought maybe a tornado or something was coming.
One of my neighbors was standing outside in the pouring HAIL (read: ice balls) saying "Holy shit, I can't believe this".
Ha hahahaha. Granted, I probably shouldn't have been at the front door looking out the window since the glass may have blown out if the wind was strong enough, but I'd rather be standing INSIDE looking out than OUTSIDE looking, well, out.
Such is the way of the world, I guess.
No long lines at polling places, no hassles, no traveling, no nothing.
Can you tell I'm pretty excited about this? Well I am.
No, I'm not telling who I'm voting for. I refuse. It's not that I mind sharing my decision, it's just that I don't feel like arguing back and forth with people over why I feel justified in my choice. And yes, I'm an informed voter, thank you very much (shout out to Mrs. Sheila Lent here. She was my Law teacher and American Government teacher in high school. If it weren't for her I would not be so into government and law and politics). I watched the presidential debates in their entirety and even watched the vice presidential debates. I know where the candidates stand on their issues and I have my reasons for choosing who I choose.
I'm so excited I can hardly sit still. Or maybe it's just the cup of coffee I drank.
-----
I spent 4 almost consecutive hours Stumbling. After being advised on how cool the service was (shout out to my bff Bushra, who has her own blog now, so check it out!!), and having nothing better to do today, I decided to give it a try.
Talk about addictive.
Let me explain how it works. You sign up and tell the service what you're interested in, like movies, shopping, etc. There's a little toolbar you install (simple and small) and then you click the button that says "Stumble!". You are instantly (depending on computer speed) taken to a random website that Stumble Upon thinks you would like. As if that weren't enough, the Stumble toolbar offers buttons with a thumbs up or thumbs down that you can push if you really like or dislike a site. Say, for instance, you come across a website for the Darwin Awards*. If you really like the website, push the thumbs up and Stumble Upon will adjust your settings so that you get more sites like it.
*For those who may be confused, the Darwin Award is named after Charles Darwin and is awarded to people who kill themselves in stupid ways. I'm not gonna lie, I spent like 40 minutes reading through dumb deaths.
So far, I've found some pretty addicting games, a free service that will call your cellphone at your designated time, a website with mathematical evidence that girls are evil, a website for the American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention, optical illusions, an instructional website for growing your own marijuana, and a website where I discovered my IQ could be over 160 which makes me almost a genius (when you see the website you'll understand why).
I'm now left with a decision: continue Stumbling through the Internet, or start up a nice healthy game of the Sims? Hmmm...tough decision...
-----
Seems like Mother Nature has a good sense of humor.
Apparently she knew about my complaints on the volatility of Chicago/Dekalb weather and decided she hadn't been extreme enough in the past.
Yesterday, in the span of 10 minutes (at the most), we experienced bright sunshine, rain, snow, and hail. Anything that COULD fall from the sky WAS. And it went back and forth between the sun and the rain/snow/hail at least three times. It was actually kind of scary because I thought maybe a tornado or something was coming.
One of my neighbors was standing outside in the pouring HAIL (read: ice balls) saying "Holy shit, I can't believe this".
Ha hahahaha. Granted, I probably shouldn't have been at the front door looking out the window since the glass may have blown out if the wind was strong enough, but I'd rather be standing INSIDE looking out than OUTSIDE looking, well, out.
Such is the way of the world, I guess.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
What A Pointless List
I was reading on MSN about the 10 Best Places to Visit Before You're 10 or something like that.
Of course, the first thing that sprang into my head was "if you're reading this, you're too old for this list to pertain to you." But, out of pure curiosity, I read the thing anyway. I figured I'd give it a try.
The list is as follows:
I don't think any children under 10 were consulted during the making of this list, though. It sounds like an "boy, I would have been lucky to see this stuff when I was a kid" adult list. C'mon, now. The significance of many of the places on this list aren't realized until you've reached a certain age. If you take a 5 year old to the Grand Canyon, they aren't going to be stunned by it's majestic beauty or geographical history. They're going to want to go back home so they can watch Phineas and Ferb on tv.
The aquarium is a more believable endeavor. I've never been to this one they mention in California, but I do know the Georgia Aquarium was absolutely fabulous. They had a sting ray tank and a big place where kids could play and all other fun things to do at an aquarium, along with a wonderful cafe. I actually even bought a souvenir there (which tells you something, because I never buy souvenirs. I look at them, toy with the idea of buying them, but never get around to it). And the Shedd Aquarium is awesome too! (I know I've written about it before, I'm just too lazy to find the post reference).
In fact, as long as you bring a backpack of scooby snacks (and NOT actual dog treats fools, I'm talking about snacks like fruit or graham crackers or gatorade or chips), any museum or other such informative place can be fun. You don't have to take your kids all the way out to Virginia to learn about colonial times, when there's a place called New Salem in Illinois (I've been there when I was 8 or 9, and that place was cool).
Disneyland (or world) is worth the trip but that's just because you can't find any other place like it. You can only go to Six Flags so much.
This leaves us with the Sears Tower. Now, as a Chicagoan, I'm proud that the Sears Tower made it to the list of places you should go. And you certainly learn a lot being up there (and it's scary, too). But the thing is, part of the fun is when you live in Chicago and you start looking for places like your house, your school, the corner store, that place where that one guy got beat up, etc. The Sears Tower offers probably once of the most breathtaking views of a city you'll ever see, but you can just as easily get that view in an airplane.
If you are coming to Chicago, I'd suggest you take the kidlets to Navy Pier. There's rides, IMAX, shops where you can spend your money, good food, live shows, and even a greenhouse. That's a place they won't get tired of going to until they get older and realize there's clubs and bars they could be trying to go to.
Of course, the first thing that sprang into my head was "if you're reading this, you're too old for this list to pertain to you." But, out of pure curiosity, I read the thing anyway. I figured I'd give it a try.
The list is as follows:
- The Sears Tower in Chicago
- Niagara Falls in New York and Ontario
- Muir Woods in California (where the redwoods are)
- Monterey Bay Aquarium in California
- Griffith Conservatory in Los Angeles
- Grand Canyon in Arizona
- Ellis Island in New York City
- Disneyland in California
- Colonial Williamsburg in Williamsburg, Virginia
- American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore, Maryland
I don't think any children under 10 were consulted during the making of this list, though. It sounds like an "boy, I would have been lucky to see this stuff when I was a kid" adult list. C'mon, now. The significance of many of the places on this list aren't realized until you've reached a certain age. If you take a 5 year old to the Grand Canyon, they aren't going to be stunned by it's majestic beauty or geographical history. They're going to want to go back home so they can watch Phineas and Ferb on tv.
The aquarium is a more believable endeavor. I've never been to this one they mention in California, but I do know the Georgia Aquarium was absolutely fabulous. They had a sting ray tank and a big place where kids could play and all other fun things to do at an aquarium, along with a wonderful cafe. I actually even bought a souvenir there (which tells you something, because I never buy souvenirs. I look at them, toy with the idea of buying them, but never get around to it). And the Shedd Aquarium is awesome too! (I know I've written about it before, I'm just too lazy to find the post reference).
In fact, as long as you bring a backpack of scooby snacks (and NOT actual dog treats fools, I'm talking about snacks like fruit or graham crackers or gatorade or chips), any museum or other such informative place can be fun. You don't have to take your kids all the way out to Virginia to learn about colonial times, when there's a place called New Salem in Illinois (I've been there when I was 8 or 9, and that place was cool).
Disneyland (or world) is worth the trip but that's just because you can't find any other place like it. You can only go to Six Flags so much.
This leaves us with the Sears Tower. Now, as a Chicagoan, I'm proud that the Sears Tower made it to the list of places you should go. And you certainly learn a lot being up there (and it's scary, too). But the thing is, part of the fun is when you live in Chicago and you start looking for places like your house, your school, the corner store, that place where that one guy got beat up, etc. The Sears Tower offers probably once of the most breathtaking views of a city you'll ever see, but you can just as easily get that view in an airplane.
If you are coming to Chicago, I'd suggest you take the kidlets to Navy Pier. There's rides, IMAX, shops where you can spend your money, good food, live shows, and even a greenhouse. That's a place they won't get tired of going to until they get older and realize there's clubs and bars they could be trying to go to.
Playing a Little Catch Up With Random Thoughts
Wow it's been a while. Almost a week, to be exact.
For some strange reason, I guess I just haven't quite been in the mood to blog. I haven't been keeping up with my cell phone blog, and I'm finally realizing just how much maintenance it takes to keep two blogs up. Even though I don't really do anything all day, I STILL manage to procrastinate blogging. I guess it's because I was so used to doing it when I had something better to do. Now that it's that "better thing to do", I don't wanna do it anymore. I tell you about being a procrastinator.
-----
I'd like to begin this post with a list of my most recent accomplishments:
1. I finished watching every episode in all 12 seasons of South Park. Yes, this makes me a geek. But I don't care.
-Side note: I've adapted a little South Park lingo into my everyday conversation. Like saying "I'm seriously" instead of "I'm serious". And "Jesus tap-dancing Christ".
2. After having tried for months to watch this movie, I finally watched Half Baked in its entirety, and realized that it's really probably much better if you're baked when you watch it. Or at least if you're not alone.
3. I watched the entire first season of Chappelle's Show over again. Have you ever noticed how short that show is? I remember now why I used to hate watching it on tv: every two seconds he kept going to commercial! Jesus tap-dancing Christ!
4. I watched Katt Williams' American Hustle last night. Didn't stay awake through the whole thing, but it doesn't matter because I've watched that movie enough to know it by heart.
5. I got so bored that I decided it was a good idea to copy the US Constitution by hand. I made it all the way to Article I Section 4 before I was cautioned to stop, seeing as the endeavor was pointless. If I had a dictionary, I'd have started copying from that. Hey, Malcolm X did it!
6. Have you noticed that in order for me to have possibly gotten all of this done in the last two days, I have to have done NOTHING? Well, that's right. It sure feels nice to be able to sit in front of a tv (okay, my computer) for two days straight and not gain an obscene amount of weight. Then again, I guess I'd have had to eat more than two granola bars and cheese crackers in the span of like 48 hours (from Thursday night to last night at like 2 in the morning) to really gain that much weight.
-----
Remember Lite Brites? Those things were the SHIT next to Easy Bake Ovens. For those of you who may have been deprived of such childhood pleasures, Lite Brites were devices that were very simple. It was basically a big plastic box with a light bulb, and a black sheet of paper with little designs stenciled out. You put the paper in front of the light bulb on this little screen, and you push tiny colorful light bulbs into the paper to make wonderful light creations. Lite Brites had ENDLESS possibilties for two reasons. First, it came with so many stencils and blank pieces of paper you couldn't have finished them in one night if you tried. Second, it was a nighttime activity (you had to have the room completely dark to fully enjoy the liteness of the light bulbs), so your mom wouldn't let you stay up late enough to do more than like two stencils at a time.
Lite Brites were not toys that lasted forever, though. Inevitably, you'd lose those damned light bulbs, or find other more ingenious uses for them than sticking them in a sheet of paper. Then the light bulb would go out, and by then you've turned the papers into other things and you only have three light bulbs left and your mom won't buy you the expansion pack because you didn't take care of the original supplies so you're just out of luck.
I ask this because I referred to myself as a lite brite earlier to a friend and something in my brain clicked. Just why are light skinned people known as lite brites? Last I checked, lite brites aren't light...it's a black piece of paper with colorful light bulbs!! And last I checked also, I'm not colorful. I'm just light skinned with brown eyes and brown hair.
I just don't see the connection...
-----
Normally people have allergy problems in like August or early spring, when there's pollen about and all over gobbedlygook. Well, my allergies sprung up when it got cold. So I guess it was a change-of-weather phenomenon or something. Used to be when the weather changed from hot to cold and cold to hot I would just have a bronchitis flare-up. Now? I get asthma attacks and wake up with a terrible postnasal drip. So it's either I'm going to cough a lung out or I can't breathe at all due to narrow air passages and overzealous mucus. This also means I'm either going to be puffing albuterol from an inhaler or popping benadryl like it's vitamins. I'm still trying to decide which is worse.
-----
I would like to make a very important clarification on behalf of all my fellow Chicagoans.
We are not used to living in cold weather. We are used to weather fluctuations. They are two different things.
Everybody else has even weather. You know when it's spring, fall, winter, and summer. Seasons are consistent and dependable (okay maybe not, but they aren't that bad).
In Chicago we're all confused and that's probably why it always feels colder. We don't get steady winters where it's always cold. A winter can go from 50 to 0 degrees in range, and we can have 30 degree weather changes from day to day! Summers are either super super hot or so mild you wouldn't think it were summer if it weren't July. Spring must run on colored people time because it never comes fast enough (we have snow in April. April, ya'll!! Ain't that some crap?) and fall just...well fall doesn't exist. It seems like it goes from hot to cold real quick.
When you've got weather fluctuations like this, OF COURSE it's going to seem like an extreme place to live. It is! It feels so cold because the cold is not constant.
Now, I'm in Dekalb right now, which is a good 80 miles away from Chicago. And the weather's not much better out here either. In fact, I'm looking out the window now and just a few minutes ago leaves were blowing and I couldn't tell if it was raining or snowing. And just as suddenly as it started, it stopped and it looks like the sun may come out.
I tell you about this weather.
For some strange reason, I guess I just haven't quite been in the mood to blog. I haven't been keeping up with my cell phone blog, and I'm finally realizing just how much maintenance it takes to keep two blogs up. Even though I don't really do anything all day, I STILL manage to procrastinate blogging. I guess it's because I was so used to doing it when I had something better to do. Now that it's that "better thing to do", I don't wanna do it anymore. I tell you about being a procrastinator.
-----
I'd like to begin this post with a list of my most recent accomplishments:
1. I finished watching every episode in all 12 seasons of South Park. Yes, this makes me a geek. But I don't care.
-Side note: I've adapted a little South Park lingo into my everyday conversation. Like saying "I'm seriously" instead of "I'm serious". And "Jesus tap-dancing Christ".
2. After having tried for months to watch this movie, I finally watched Half Baked in its entirety, and realized that it's really probably much better if you're baked when you watch it. Or at least if you're not alone.
3. I watched the entire first season of Chappelle's Show over again. Have you ever noticed how short that show is? I remember now why I used to hate watching it on tv: every two seconds he kept going to commercial! Jesus tap-dancing Christ!
4. I watched Katt Williams' American Hustle last night. Didn't stay awake through the whole thing, but it doesn't matter because I've watched that movie enough to know it by heart.
5. I got so bored that I decided it was a good idea to copy the US Constitution by hand. I made it all the way to Article I Section 4 before I was cautioned to stop, seeing as the endeavor was pointless. If I had a dictionary, I'd have started copying from that. Hey, Malcolm X did it!
6. Have you noticed that in order for me to have possibly gotten all of this done in the last two days, I have to have done NOTHING? Well, that's right. It sure feels nice to be able to sit in front of a tv (okay, my computer) for two days straight and not gain an obscene amount of weight. Then again, I guess I'd have had to eat more than two granola bars and cheese crackers in the span of like 48 hours (from Thursday night to last night at like 2 in the morning) to really gain that much weight.
-----
Remember Lite Brites? Those things were the SHIT next to Easy Bake Ovens. For those of you who may have been deprived of such childhood pleasures, Lite Brites were devices that were very simple. It was basically a big plastic box with a light bulb, and a black sheet of paper with little designs stenciled out. You put the paper in front of the light bulb on this little screen, and you push tiny colorful light bulbs into the paper to make wonderful light creations. Lite Brites had ENDLESS possibilties for two reasons. First, it came with so many stencils and blank pieces of paper you couldn't have finished them in one night if you tried. Second, it was a nighttime activity (you had to have the room completely dark to fully enjoy the liteness of the light bulbs), so your mom wouldn't let you stay up late enough to do more than like two stencils at a time.
Lite Brites were not toys that lasted forever, though. Inevitably, you'd lose those damned light bulbs, or find other more ingenious uses for them than sticking them in a sheet of paper. Then the light bulb would go out, and by then you've turned the papers into other things and you only have three light bulbs left and your mom won't buy you the expansion pack because you didn't take care of the original supplies so you're just out of luck.
I ask this because I referred to myself as a lite brite earlier to a friend and something in my brain clicked. Just why are light skinned people known as lite brites? Last I checked, lite brites aren't light...it's a black piece of paper with colorful light bulbs!! And last I checked also, I'm not colorful. I'm just light skinned with brown eyes and brown hair.
I just don't see the connection...
-----
Normally people have allergy problems in like August or early spring, when there's pollen about and all over gobbedlygook. Well, my allergies sprung up when it got cold. So I guess it was a change-of-weather phenomenon or something. Used to be when the weather changed from hot to cold and cold to hot I would just have a bronchitis flare-up. Now? I get asthma attacks and wake up with a terrible postnasal drip. So it's either I'm going to cough a lung out or I can't breathe at all due to narrow air passages and overzealous mucus. This also means I'm either going to be puffing albuterol from an inhaler or popping benadryl like it's vitamins. I'm still trying to decide which is worse.
-----
I would like to make a very important clarification on behalf of all my fellow Chicagoans.
We are not used to living in cold weather. We are used to weather fluctuations. They are two different things.
Everybody else has even weather. You know when it's spring, fall, winter, and summer. Seasons are consistent and dependable (okay maybe not, but they aren't that bad).
In Chicago we're all confused and that's probably why it always feels colder. We don't get steady winters where it's always cold. A winter can go from 50 to 0 degrees in range, and we can have 30 degree weather changes from day to day! Summers are either super super hot or so mild you wouldn't think it were summer if it weren't July. Spring must run on colored people time because it never comes fast enough (we have snow in April. April, ya'll!! Ain't that some crap?) and fall just...well fall doesn't exist. It seems like it goes from hot to cold real quick.
When you've got weather fluctuations like this, OF COURSE it's going to seem like an extreme place to live. It is! It feels so cold because the cold is not constant.
Now, I'm in Dekalb right now, which is a good 80 miles away from Chicago. And the weather's not much better out here either. In fact, I'm looking out the window now and just a few minutes ago leaves were blowing and I couldn't tell if it was raining or snowing. And just as suddenly as it started, it stopped and it looks like the sun may come out.
I tell you about this weather.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Bored? Ha...Yeah, Me Too
I'm pretty proud of my unproductive day today. I watched two whole movies and played two fun games. I suppose I'll share my time-consuming activities here, given I'm not doing anything better at 1 in the morning.
Movie #1: Superbad
Yes, I'm months late, but I finally watched Superbad today. And Superbad is, well, super bad. It didn't have much of a plot (go figure) and the movie lasted a whole two draggy hours about one freakin day (go figure again) and it was just so, well, stupid! Basically, two borderline gay high school seniors are on a wild ass mission to get liquor for a party where they want to get two girls stupid drunk so they can get laid (except one guy, he's a pussy). Maybe I thought it was bad because I had really high expectations going in, but man, that movie is dumb. The only good thing that came out of that experience was now I understand all the super bad inside jokes (pun intended).
Movie #2: 12 Angry Men
Do you like movies where someone says something and someone else retorts and it's like a "Daaaammmmmnnnnn....got yo ass" moment? 12 Angry Men is that movie. Now however bad Superbad was, 12 Angry Men made up for it more than triple. That movie is so damn GOOD! In this movie, there's a jury of 12 men deciding whether or not to send an 18 year old boy to the electric chair for killing his father. At first everyone thinks he's guilty...except one man (Henry Fonda) who thinks this boy deserves some consideration. I won't tell you the rest because it spoils the movie but man is Henry Fonda a good actor. This movie is a true classic. I DEFINITELY recommend watching this if you haven't already seen it.
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Now on to the games.
Game #1: Flash Flash Revolution
I know you've heard of Dance Dance Revolution; it's been popular since I was in grammar school. Well, it's been made into a version you can play on the computer, using your fingers instead of your feet. Man, oh man. If you're a DDR fan you'll LOVE this game. It's addictive because you want to complete songs but they can be pretty difficult. You can click here to check it out.
Game #2: Gravitation
Okay, Gravitation is an indie game. The graphics are circa Pole Position and so is the music, but man, what a game. It's the first video game I ever played that actually made me feel remorseful after playing it. You'll just have to play the game to see what I mean. It requires download but you can grab it here. I only played it once because it was just a kind of depressing game. But it's worth a play.
See? This is what I do with my free time. I play indie games and watch random movies. But hey, it keeps me occupied.
Movie #1: Superbad
Yes, I'm months late, but I finally watched Superbad today. And Superbad is, well, super bad. It didn't have much of a plot (go figure) and the movie lasted a whole two draggy hours about one freakin day (go figure again) and it was just so, well, stupid! Basically, two borderline gay high school seniors are on a wild ass mission to get liquor for a party where they want to get two girls stupid drunk so they can get laid (except one guy, he's a pussy). Maybe I thought it was bad because I had really high expectations going in, but man, that movie is dumb. The only good thing that came out of that experience was now I understand all the super bad inside jokes (pun intended).
Movie #2: 12 Angry Men
Do you like movies where someone says something and someone else retorts and it's like a "Daaaammmmmnnnnn....got yo ass" moment? 12 Angry Men is that movie. Now however bad Superbad was, 12 Angry Men made up for it more than triple. That movie is so damn GOOD! In this movie, there's a jury of 12 men deciding whether or not to send an 18 year old boy to the electric chair for killing his father. At first everyone thinks he's guilty...except one man (Henry Fonda) who thinks this boy deserves some consideration. I won't tell you the rest because it spoils the movie but man is Henry Fonda a good actor. This movie is a true classic. I DEFINITELY recommend watching this if you haven't already seen it.
-------
Now on to the games.
Game #1: Flash Flash Revolution
I know you've heard of Dance Dance Revolution; it's been popular since I was in grammar school. Well, it's been made into a version you can play on the computer, using your fingers instead of your feet. Man, oh man. If you're a DDR fan you'll LOVE this game. It's addictive because you want to complete songs but they can be pretty difficult. You can click here to check it out.
Game #2: Gravitation
Okay, Gravitation is an indie game. The graphics are circa Pole Position and so is the music, but man, what a game. It's the first video game I ever played that actually made me feel remorseful after playing it. You'll just have to play the game to see what I mean. It requires download but you can grab it here. I only played it once because it was just a kind of depressing game. But it's worth a play.
See? This is what I do with my free time. I play indie games and watch random movies. But hey, it keeps me occupied.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Paving The Way To Tomorrow
You know what really grinds my gears?
When people try to discourage you from something you really want to do.
Case in point: I'm a Business Administration major, and after I graduate (and I'd like to graduate magna cum laude, so I'd really better get my ass on the ball and stop all these Friday Night Lights escapades after this semester) I'd like to obtain both my MBA and my JD at the same time.
For those who aren't sure what i'm talking about, MBA is Master's in Business Administration and JD is Juris Doctorate, which is a Doctor of Law.
When people ask me what I'm studying, and I tell them business administration, their favorite question is "What are you going to do with that?", as if there's absolutely NOTHING you can do with a business administration degree.
So when they ask me what I'm going to do with my degree, I say I'm going to go to grad school and get my MBA and law degree.
Their mouths drop open. "Both?!" they may say, with a mix of confusion and disbelief. "That's a lot of years of school."
I know, I retort, which is why I'm going to get both at the same time.
Mouths hit the ground. "Both at the same time?!?!?! Wow...that's a lot of work. Are you sure you can handle it?"
If I didn't think I could handle it, you num nuts, I wouldn't have considered doing it in the first place. But I calmly reply that yes, I'm sure I can handle it. Unless it's humanely impossible, which plenty of people have disproven, then I should be fine.
"So what are you going to do after that?"
I'm going to find a decent damn job, pay my bills, be a good girlfriend/wife to my boyfriend/husband, and STILL have enough money left over for Armani manicures and the sleek black Escalade I've always wanted (with enough money to pay for gas, as well). But instead, I shrug with an "I don't know". Sure, it's a credibility diminishing move, but I don't really feel like continuing this conversation. Plus, whoever I'm talking to has already shown that they aren't terribly supportive, so I just don't think they'd understand my dreams.
"You don't know? Maybe you should start getting an idea, you know, before you go through all that schooling."
And here is where I normally end the conversation. I don't have to know what I want to do with my life yet. That's the joy of being in college: you're allowed to find yourself, try out all sorts of new things that you would have never been exposed to otherwise, and from there you can figure out what you're going to do with the rest of your life. I was able to realize relatively early that I have a liking for business and law. So I'm going to study in school what interests me.
In all reality, I want to be a CEO of a huge Fortune 500 company one day. I want to be one of those super powerful women that call all the shots. Why the law degree? Law degrees are badass. Do you know how nice a JD looks when it's framed next to a super badass MBA? And, I'm also greatly interested in law (which explains why 12 Angry men is one of my favorite movies), so if I can't be a super rich CEO I can at least be a badass lawyer like the ones on Law and Order. Or, if I'm lucky, I get to be a supercool badass corporate or entertainment lawyer, and since I'll understand business I'll be knocking off heads and taking names later.
And this is something I'm doing for myself, not for any num num knucklehead yuk yuks who think they know everything there is to know about succeeding in life.
I appreciate your concern. But as for your advice? Thanks, but no thanks.
I got this.
When people try to discourage you from something you really want to do.
Case in point: I'm a Business Administration major, and after I graduate (and I'd like to graduate magna cum laude, so I'd really better get my ass on the ball and stop all these Friday Night Lights escapades after this semester) I'd like to obtain both my MBA and my JD at the same time.
For those who aren't sure what i'm talking about, MBA is Master's in Business Administration and JD is Juris Doctorate, which is a Doctor of Law.
When people ask me what I'm studying, and I tell them business administration, their favorite question is "What are you going to do with that?", as if there's absolutely NOTHING you can do with a business administration degree.
So when they ask me what I'm going to do with my degree, I say I'm going to go to grad school and get my MBA and law degree.
Their mouths drop open. "Both?!" they may say, with a mix of confusion and disbelief. "That's a lot of years of school."
I know, I retort, which is why I'm going to get both at the same time.
Mouths hit the ground. "Both at the same time?!?!?! Wow...that's a lot of work. Are you sure you can handle it?"
If I didn't think I could handle it, you num nuts, I wouldn't have considered doing it in the first place. But I calmly reply that yes, I'm sure I can handle it. Unless it's humanely impossible, which plenty of people have disproven, then I should be fine.
"So what are you going to do after that?"
I'm going to find a decent damn job, pay my bills, be a good girlfriend/wife to my boyfriend/husband, and STILL have enough money left over for Armani manicures and the sleek black Escalade I've always wanted (with enough money to pay for gas, as well). But instead, I shrug with an "I don't know". Sure, it's a credibility diminishing move, but I don't really feel like continuing this conversation. Plus, whoever I'm talking to has already shown that they aren't terribly supportive, so I just don't think they'd understand my dreams.
"You don't know? Maybe you should start getting an idea, you know, before you go through all that schooling."
And here is where I normally end the conversation. I don't have to know what I want to do with my life yet. That's the joy of being in college: you're allowed to find yourself, try out all sorts of new things that you would have never been exposed to otherwise, and from there you can figure out what you're going to do with the rest of your life. I was able to realize relatively early that I have a liking for business and law. So I'm going to study in school what interests me.
In all reality, I want to be a CEO of a huge Fortune 500 company one day. I want to be one of those super powerful women that call all the shots. Why the law degree? Law degrees are badass. Do you know how nice a JD looks when it's framed next to a super badass MBA? And, I'm also greatly interested in law (which explains why 12 Angry men is one of my favorite movies), so if I can't be a super rich CEO I can at least be a badass lawyer like the ones on Law and Order. Or, if I'm lucky, I get to be a supercool badass corporate or entertainment lawyer, and since I'll understand business I'll be knocking off heads and taking names later.
And this is something I'm doing for myself, not for any num num knucklehead yuk yuks who think they know everything there is to know about succeeding in life.
I appreciate your concern. But as for your advice? Thanks, but no thanks.
I got this.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Friday Night Lights...Parte Uno
I meant to recap last night much earlier, but I was waiting on some pictures of the night to go on Facebook. Unfortunately, people are slacking on the picture posting, so I'll just share some pics of the night that I took.
First, let me say that I was itching to go out last night. I've been trapped in the house all week because of this knee (nope, still no better), so of course when I heard that my boyfriend's fraternity was throwing a huge open party, I knew I had to not only appear but to STUNT. I even had my swag on ten.
Of course, I started out the night wearing almost nothing, and by the time I went home I had gym shoes, joggers, and a coat. I came up!
Oh, and I almost fought a girl at Big Bro's house, because she tried to pull rank on me. First of all, I hate airheaded bitches. And I hate ones that say stupid stuff and then try to throw in a nice phrase after it. Like she thought saying "I'm not trying to be rude" was going to soften the situation! She better thank her God that Amardo stopped me, because he saw I was ready to go South Side on her.
And no, it wasn't the straight Captain I drank. I wasn't even drunk when I tried to beat her ass. I DID, however, try to do the Captain Morgan pose....whenever I get a hold of that picture I'll post it immediately lol...
Anyway, here's just a sample of my night last night:
I definitely have my leg wrapped around a pole. Yes, it's like that.
My bff Bushra...most down to earth girl EVER!
Look at the interracial couple! We'd make pretty Blaxican babies!
I had to post this cuz we black people gotta stick together...and it's hilarious how Jay Cossey is always trying to lick someone in a picture!
First, let me say that I was itching to go out last night. I've been trapped in the house all week because of this knee (nope, still no better), so of course when I heard that my boyfriend's fraternity was throwing a huge open party, I knew I had to not only appear but to STUNT. I even had my swag on ten.
Of course, I started out the night wearing almost nothing, and by the time I went home I had gym shoes, joggers, and a coat. I came up!
Oh, and I almost fought a girl at Big Bro's house, because she tried to pull rank on me. First of all, I hate airheaded bitches. And I hate ones that say stupid stuff and then try to throw in a nice phrase after it. Like she thought saying "I'm not trying to be rude" was going to soften the situation! She better thank her God that Amardo stopped me, because he saw I was ready to go South Side on her.
And no, it wasn't the straight Captain I drank. I wasn't even drunk when I tried to beat her ass. I DID, however, try to do the Captain Morgan pose....whenever I get a hold of that picture I'll post it immediately lol...
Anyway, here's just a sample of my night last night:
I definitely have my leg wrapped around a pole. Yes, it's like that.
My bff Bushra...most down to earth girl EVER!
Look at the interracial couple! We'd make pretty Blaxican babies!
I had to post this cuz we black people gotta stick together...and it's hilarious how Jay Cossey is always trying to lick someone in a picture!
Monday, October 13, 2008
A Modest Proposal
I've been thinking on a couple of things recently and just thought I'd get them off my chest.
I HATE DUMB BITCHES.
By dumb bitches, I don't mean the dumb bitch that does stupid things once in a while but means no harm by it; those are misguided bitches.
And I also don't mean the dumb bitches that do things for love, like marry a guy after 2 weeks or get his name tattooed on her neck after a month of dating. Those girls are in love and so don't always see reason.
I mean dumb bitches that are just dumb because they think it's cute, or are just oblivious to the world around them. They are the ones that come out with stupid shit. My favorite dumb bitch quote: "I want to have brain surgery because you have to stay awake and it looks cool."
I petition that these particular individuals be placed on their own little island somewhere far away from ME so that they can learn to survive with all sorts of other airheaded bitches just like themselves. I would say throw men with them but we don't want these females to reproduce and make any dumb bitch babies that grow up to terrorize my own children one day with stupidity.
Of course, maybe some people aren't as affected by Dumb Bitch Syndrome as others, and those who have some hopes of returning to intelligent life should be sent to rehab. Perhaps a little common sense therapy wouldn't hurt. And if they don't respond well to treatment...SEND THEM TO THE ISLAND!!!
I'm sure it will make life so much easier...
-------
I keep it real. Too real, sometimes. And it seems I've lost a friend or two because of it.
Well, I didn't lose a friend. But she won't tell me anything anymore because she's afraid I'm going to yell at her, because OF COURSE you should be afraid of a 5'4", 120 lb girl yelling at you because of the next stupid thing you've done. Riiiiiight.
Then again, she's the type of girl that needs constant affirmation to feel like her life means something, and I'm probably not the person you want to go to for that.
But this is starting to kind of hurt.
She's getting MARRIED, ya'll. Yep, she picked the wedding date and everything. According to my other best friend, I'm supposed to be in her wedding party. But this girl hasn't even told me about it yet. She's afraid I'm going to yell at her.
YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M GONNA YELL!! When you've known a dude for a week and suddenly decide he's your soulmate, SOMEBODY needs to slap you in the face to bring you back to reality. And when you're trying to have a baby with this man, given that YOU'RE STILL A STUDENT and don't even have the esteem or maturity to support your damn self, somebody needs to push you down a flight of stairs or two (might as well kill two birds with one stone).
My other best friend, who has been keeping me in the loop cuz this one sure doesn't, told me yesterday that not only is she trying to marry a guy she's dated for a month, but they are trying to have a baby now and she wanted to get a tattoo of his name.
I don't think her mother would have flipped out on her as hard as I did. Especially with the tattoo part. I would have jumped through that phone and beat her ever-lovin ass.
But I didn't tell her everything I told her because I want to sabotage her life, or because I want her to be unhappy, and that's where the line between a friend and a really good best friend is drawn. She knows that as much as I may have yelled at her, I only do it because I know this girl and I've been to hell and back with her. When everybody else was against her I stood next to her, risking my own reputation as well.
I believe that a friend will tell you what you want to hear to make you feel better. A best friend will tell you that you're being stupid and to shut the hell up, which won't feel good at the time but you'll realize later on that that was probably the best advice you could have ever gotten.
And THEN, on top of all that, another one of my friends is having boyfriend problems. Now, when it comes to boyfriend problems, I have a "put up or shut up" mentality, even with my own relationship. I feel a person has a right to be happy in their relationship and if they aren't happy, they reserve the opportunity to try to change things, whether it be by talking things out or maybe changing their own perspectives. And if that doesn't work, they reserve the right to leave and find someone who will make them happy.
Let me also say that I've never been the type to break up a relationship, ever. I never tell my friends to break up with someone. But I will tell them (in my very straightforward way) that if they aren't happy they need to figure out why and find some way to change things so they are.
So this friend is having problems, and she complains about them to everybody: me, our other friend, my boyfriend, my big bro, and countless other people. We could be talking about something completely unrelated and suddenly we're on the topic of how bad he treats her: Strike 1.
Then, if anyone complains about how her man is treating her, she wants to one-up her, talking about "well if you thought YOUR man did YOU bad, wait til you hear what mine did to me", because of course we want to all flaunt whose boyfriend is the worst to us. I hate it when people try to one-up me all the time. So what if your man is a total ass...it makes me happier that mine isn't. What, do you want a fuckin cookie now?? Strike 2.
And now, she's talking mad shit about how she's concentrating on herself and how she's so big and bad but she's letting this dude trample all over her. Or she talks mad shit about how he doesn't care when she's around guys, but she talks about how sweet he is when she's talking to me. Pick one story and stick to it!! Strike muthafuckin 3.
One of these days, she's going to be depressed, and she's gonna bitch about how her man isn't treating her right, and she's gonna tell my boyfriend all about how her man ain't shit. And on that day, I'm not going to be in any mood for her bullshit. And she's gonna say something and I'm gonna turn around and treat her. I don't do it often but when I wanna get smartmouthed I can hurt people.
My moral of the day is this: Women, if yo man ain't shit...LEAVE HIM ALONE!! Ain't shit niggas need to be with ain't shit bitches, and you, girl, are not that bitch.
I HATE DUMB BITCHES.
By dumb bitches, I don't mean the dumb bitch that does stupid things once in a while but means no harm by it; those are misguided bitches.
And I also don't mean the dumb bitches that do things for love, like marry a guy after 2 weeks or get his name tattooed on her neck after a month of dating. Those girls are in love and so don't always see reason.
I mean dumb bitches that are just dumb because they think it's cute, or are just oblivious to the world around them. They are the ones that come out with stupid shit. My favorite dumb bitch quote: "I want to have brain surgery because you have to stay awake and it looks cool."
I petition that these particular individuals be placed on their own little island somewhere far away from ME so that they can learn to survive with all sorts of other airheaded bitches just like themselves. I would say throw men with them but we don't want these females to reproduce and make any dumb bitch babies that grow up to terrorize my own children one day with stupidity.
Of course, maybe some people aren't as affected by Dumb Bitch Syndrome as others, and those who have some hopes of returning to intelligent life should be sent to rehab. Perhaps a little common sense therapy wouldn't hurt. And if they don't respond well to treatment...SEND THEM TO THE ISLAND!!!
I'm sure it will make life so much easier...
-------
I keep it real. Too real, sometimes. And it seems I've lost a friend or two because of it.
Well, I didn't lose a friend. But she won't tell me anything anymore because she's afraid I'm going to yell at her, because OF COURSE you should be afraid of a 5'4", 120 lb girl yelling at you because of the next stupid thing you've done. Riiiiiight.
Then again, she's the type of girl that needs constant affirmation to feel like her life means something, and I'm probably not the person you want to go to for that.
But this is starting to kind of hurt.
She's getting MARRIED, ya'll. Yep, she picked the wedding date and everything. According to my other best friend, I'm supposed to be in her wedding party. But this girl hasn't even told me about it yet. She's afraid I'm going to yell at her.
YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M GONNA YELL!! When you've known a dude for a week and suddenly decide he's your soulmate, SOMEBODY needs to slap you in the face to bring you back to reality. And when you're trying to have a baby with this man, given that YOU'RE STILL A STUDENT and don't even have the esteem or maturity to support your damn self, somebody needs to push you down a flight of stairs or two (might as well kill two birds with one stone).
My other best friend, who has been keeping me in the loop cuz this one sure doesn't, told me yesterday that not only is she trying to marry a guy she's dated for a month, but they are trying to have a baby now and she wanted to get a tattoo of his name.
I don't think her mother would have flipped out on her as hard as I did. Especially with the tattoo part. I would have jumped through that phone and beat her ever-lovin ass.
But I didn't tell her everything I told her because I want to sabotage her life, or because I want her to be unhappy, and that's where the line between a friend and a really good best friend is drawn. She knows that as much as I may have yelled at her, I only do it because I know this girl and I've been to hell and back with her. When everybody else was against her I stood next to her, risking my own reputation as well.
I believe that a friend will tell you what you want to hear to make you feel better. A best friend will tell you that you're being stupid and to shut the hell up, which won't feel good at the time but you'll realize later on that that was probably the best advice you could have ever gotten.
And THEN, on top of all that, another one of my friends is having boyfriend problems. Now, when it comes to boyfriend problems, I have a "put up or shut up" mentality, even with my own relationship. I feel a person has a right to be happy in their relationship and if they aren't happy, they reserve the opportunity to try to change things, whether it be by talking things out or maybe changing their own perspectives. And if that doesn't work, they reserve the right to leave and find someone who will make them happy.
Let me also say that I've never been the type to break up a relationship, ever. I never tell my friends to break up with someone. But I will tell them (in my very straightforward way) that if they aren't happy they need to figure out why and find some way to change things so they are.
So this friend is having problems, and she complains about them to everybody: me, our other friend, my boyfriend, my big bro, and countless other people. We could be talking about something completely unrelated and suddenly we're on the topic of how bad he treats her: Strike 1.
Then, if anyone complains about how her man is treating her, she wants to one-up her, talking about "well if you thought YOUR man did YOU bad, wait til you hear what mine did to me", because of course we want to all flaunt whose boyfriend is the worst to us. I hate it when people try to one-up me all the time. So what if your man is a total ass...it makes me happier that mine isn't. What, do you want a fuckin cookie now?? Strike 2.
And now, she's talking mad shit about how she's concentrating on herself and how she's so big and bad but she's letting this dude trample all over her. Or she talks mad shit about how he doesn't care when she's around guys, but she talks about how sweet he is when she's talking to me. Pick one story and stick to it!! Strike muthafuckin 3.
One of these days, she's going to be depressed, and she's gonna bitch about how her man isn't treating her right, and she's gonna tell my boyfriend all about how her man ain't shit. And on that day, I'm not going to be in any mood for her bullshit. And she's gonna say something and I'm gonna turn around and treat her. I don't do it often but when I wanna get smartmouthed I can hurt people.
My moral of the day is this: Women, if yo man ain't shit...LEAVE HIM ALONE!! Ain't shit niggas need to be with ain't shit bitches, and you, girl, are not that bitch.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Untitled As of Now
We all need it,
want it:
confidence.
It watches us from afar
waiting on us to accept it
But we don't.
We instead find ways to deny it.
We ignore it.
We say it lies.
We don't believe in it,
so it abandons us.
Whether you're scared,
depressed,
nervous,
or just feeling down, you need it
unfortunately it is in these times
that it's hardest to find it.
We let things we can't control take it away
we let them hurt our self-esteem
we let them make us doubtful.
We have dreams and we want to make them
but as each failure hits us it chips away at us
and we start to think thoughts that push it even further away.
We start to think we aren't beautiful
because we can't compete with the tv.
We start to think we aren't good enough
when we don't make the team.
We start to think we aren't successful
because someone makes more money than we.
It's a never ending cycle
Because no matter how good you are
how determined you are,
how successful you are,
how beautiful you are,
there's always gonna be someone
better, more determined, more successful, more beautiful
And maybe our confidence will come back
if we embrace this fact rather than fight it.
If we realize that we are the best to us
maybe we'd be happier.
If we stopped trying to be everything we're not
and started being everything we are
maybe our life would feel more purposeful
and when that happens
we won't need to be the best looking or the most thoughtful
it won't matter what we are to other people
because in the end
all that really matters is
who we are to ourselves...
want it:
confidence.
It watches us from afar
waiting on us to accept it
But we don't.
We instead find ways to deny it.
We ignore it.
We say it lies.
We don't believe in it,
so it abandons us.
Whether you're scared,
depressed,
nervous,
or just feeling down, you need it
unfortunately it is in these times
that it's hardest to find it.
We let things we can't control take it away
we let them hurt our self-esteem
we let them make us doubtful.
We have dreams and we want to make them
but as each failure hits us it chips away at us
and we start to think thoughts that push it even further away.
We start to think we aren't beautiful
because we can't compete with the tv.
We start to think we aren't good enough
when we don't make the team.
We start to think we aren't successful
because someone makes more money than we.
It's a never ending cycle
Because no matter how good you are
how determined you are,
how successful you are,
how beautiful you are,
there's always gonna be someone
better, more determined, more successful, more beautiful
And maybe our confidence will come back
if we embrace this fact rather than fight it.
If we realize that we are the best to us
maybe we'd be happier.
If we stopped trying to be everything we're not
and started being everything we are
maybe our life would feel more purposeful
and when that happens
we won't need to be the best looking or the most thoughtful
it won't matter what we are to other people
because in the end
all that really matters is
who we are to ourselves...
Saturday, October 11, 2008
What A Night
Goodness gracious.
I shouldn't even be blogging right now. I've got a feeling I might still be a little drunk.
Countless jello shots, smirnoff, and UV will do that to you.
I went to a sex toy party last night for the very first time, and it was actually a pretty exciting experience. For those who may have never attended one, it's basically like one of those Tupperware parties except with vibrators and creams. The woman presenting was NOT FUNNY though...she was actually really lame, and she thought it was an amazing idea to insert "grandma" into the most awkward situations, like "Put this calendar on your grandma's fridge so she can try positions" and all other kinds of things that just were not funny. To her credit, she tried, and we had a few genuinely hilarious moments (what can't be hilarious when a group of girls are passing around vibrators that rotate??).
Guys, if you don't know what items you're competing with, you need to hightail it to a sex store IMMEDIATELY and see your competition.
I had been warned by Amardo before I went to the party not to buy any dildos, which is understandable. Why would I need a dildo when I have him?? Duh...
So I bought this cream that numbs whatever you put it on and some love dice.
Probably the best thing about this party wasn't the toys I got. It was the people I met. I met some really cool girls and was in the middle of a big ass party talking to my jello shot buddy about whether or not she had just had sex with her boyfriend and whether she had used something she just bought. You can only see that type of bonding at a sex toy party.
Girls (and guys too if ya'll want, even though that's kinda gay), if you haven't been to one, FIND ONE. Go to it. I'm convinced that this is something every girl needs to attend at least once.
Right now I swear I'm still drunk so I think I'm going to drink some Gatorade to prevent a hangover and watch TV until I pass out. I'm sure I'll be blogging later, though.
I shouldn't even be blogging right now. I've got a feeling I might still be a little drunk.
Countless jello shots, smirnoff, and UV will do that to you.
I went to a sex toy party last night for the very first time, and it was actually a pretty exciting experience. For those who may have never attended one, it's basically like one of those Tupperware parties except with vibrators and creams. The woman presenting was NOT FUNNY though...she was actually really lame, and she thought it was an amazing idea to insert "grandma" into the most awkward situations, like "Put this calendar on your grandma's fridge so she can try positions" and all other kinds of things that just were not funny. To her credit, she tried, and we had a few genuinely hilarious moments (what can't be hilarious when a group of girls are passing around vibrators that rotate??).
Guys, if you don't know what items you're competing with, you need to hightail it to a sex store IMMEDIATELY and see your competition.
I had been warned by Amardo before I went to the party not to buy any dildos, which is understandable. Why would I need a dildo when I have him?? Duh...
So I bought this cream that numbs whatever you put it on and some love dice.
Probably the best thing about this party wasn't the toys I got. It was the people I met. I met some really cool girls and was in the middle of a big ass party talking to my jello shot buddy about whether or not she had just had sex with her boyfriend and whether she had used something she just bought. You can only see that type of bonding at a sex toy party.
Girls (and guys too if ya'll want, even though that's kinda gay), if you haven't been to one, FIND ONE. Go to it. I'm convinced that this is something every girl needs to attend at least once.
Right now I swear I'm still drunk so I think I'm going to drink some Gatorade to prevent a hangover and watch TV until I pass out. I'm sure I'll be blogging later, though.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Google Looks Out For YOU
You gotta love the effort Google is putting forth.
I'm sure this has happened to a couple of people at the top a number of times, and finally somebody sitting at a huge mahogany table stood up in the middle of an otherwise boring staff meeting and said "Hey! This is important enough to deserve it's own software!"
Thus we have the invention of the "Mail Goggles".
Basically, Mail Goggles are supposed to keep drunk people from sending emails they may regret later with the ingenious use of...math problems! The sender has a minute to solve 5 relatively simple math problems. If he or she can't solve the problems in the allotted time, they are given a new set of problems. And so the cycle continues.
Okay.
This service sounds like it works best for those who want it to work and for the few people out there that get quiet and reserved when they drink (then again, if they're that responsible when they're drunk, do they really need the service anyway?).
But Google is just opening itself up for a potential lawsuit by some dumbass who, in a moment of drunken frustration and indignation at having to solve some math problems before sending an email, slams a fist into their Vaio screen or throws their monitor out a window.
Google, there's a problem that is becoming increasingly common, and is guaranteed to affect more people than this emailing issue. It is what you really need to try to prevent: THE DRUNK DIAL.
I'd PAY for a service that I could download to my cell phone that would keep me from sending "adlkfalkdnei asldkf ansidlf" text messages to my boyfriend when I'm trying to find out where he's at. And how about a little alert that would warn me that a person calling me is possibly drunk so I know whether or not to field the call?
And while we're at it, can you please invent a technology that keeps the bill collectors from leaving messages on my cell phone when I don't answer?
I'm just saying...
I'm sure this has happened to a couple of people at the top a number of times, and finally somebody sitting at a huge mahogany table stood up in the middle of an otherwise boring staff meeting and said "Hey! This is important enough to deserve it's own software!"
Thus we have the invention of the "Mail Goggles".
Basically, Mail Goggles are supposed to keep drunk people from sending emails they may regret later with the ingenious use of...math problems! The sender has a minute to solve 5 relatively simple math problems. If he or she can't solve the problems in the allotted time, they are given a new set of problems. And so the cycle continues.
Okay.
This service sounds like it works best for those who want it to work and for the few people out there that get quiet and reserved when they drink (then again, if they're that responsible when they're drunk, do they really need the service anyway?).
But Google is just opening itself up for a potential lawsuit by some dumbass who, in a moment of drunken frustration and indignation at having to solve some math problems before sending an email, slams a fist into their Vaio screen or throws their monitor out a window.
Google, there's a problem that is becoming increasingly common, and is guaranteed to affect more people than this emailing issue. It is what you really need to try to prevent: THE DRUNK DIAL.
I'd PAY for a service that I could download to my cell phone that would keep me from sending "adlkfalkdnei asldkf ansidlf" text messages to my boyfriend when I'm trying to find out where he's at. And how about a little alert that would warn me that a person calling me is possibly drunk so I know whether or not to field the call?
And while we're at it, can you please invent a technology that keeps the bill collectors from leaving messages on my cell phone when I don't answer?
I'm just saying...
Monday, October 6, 2008
Our Economy is Depressed!
Just when we thought things couldn't get any worse...
I think people in our day and time are fiercely disconnected from and largely oblivious to what's going on around us. Years ago, if the country were in the midst of a war, people would have been protesting it constantly and the nation would be in a state of extreme patriotism. The last time I can remember such an effort was directly after the events of 9/11. Now we still walk around, playing with our Crackberrys, sipping Starbucks, getting drunk, smoking weed, and largely going on with life as if there isn't a "war" going on.
And now, the stocks are rapidly declining, and we are seriously at the brink of another Depression. Because stocks are going down, people are selling like crazy which is only going to make things worse. There's a certain amount of panic spreading through Wall Street.
Let's not forget that while all of this is going on, President Bush is trying to bail just a few companies out by getting a $700 billion bailout plan passed. Yo, Mr. President! How about you spend some of YOUR salary money bailing out companies that are in no way directly related to you? And we are in a huge budget deficit. Bush, you started office with a freakin SURPLUS! That's right! Clinton had us with a surplus! And here you come putting an entire nation into debt. That must suck. And I wonder how it must feel to know you're taking food out of people's mouths to feed already better-than-well-off CEOs at companies when these very CEOs should be punished for their bad management!
Is it just me, or does this really just not make any damn sense?
I feel bad for whoever takes over office after Bush leaves, whether it be Obama or McCain, because they've got a HELL of a cleanup job to do. President Bush sailed in with an easy time. But he left us with shambles of what used to be a great country.
*Flashback*
It was one day early in my 8th grade year (so it was 2002). In my grammar school, we used to start our day with morning announcements and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. Everyone was supposed to stand, put their hands on their hearts, and face the flag at the front of the room.
I had never really thought about what those words mean. I always just said them because that's what we were supposed to do and it had become a routine part of my day. But one day I said it and actually became aware of what I was saying:
I think people in our day and time are fiercely disconnected from and largely oblivious to what's going on around us. Years ago, if the country were in the midst of a war, people would have been protesting it constantly and the nation would be in a state of extreme patriotism. The last time I can remember such an effort was directly after the events of 9/11. Now we still walk around, playing with our Crackberrys, sipping Starbucks, getting drunk, smoking weed, and largely going on with life as if there isn't a "war" going on.
And now, the stocks are rapidly declining, and we are seriously at the brink of another Depression. Because stocks are going down, people are selling like crazy which is only going to make things worse. There's a certain amount of panic spreading through Wall Street.
Let's not forget that while all of this is going on, President Bush is trying to bail just a few companies out by getting a $700 billion bailout plan passed. Yo, Mr. President! How about you spend some of YOUR salary money bailing out companies that are in no way directly related to you? And we are in a huge budget deficit. Bush, you started office with a freakin SURPLUS! That's right! Clinton had us with a surplus! And here you come putting an entire nation into debt. That must suck. And I wonder how it must feel to know you're taking food out of people's mouths to feed already better-than-well-off CEOs at companies when these very CEOs should be punished for their bad management!
Is it just me, or does this really just not make any damn sense?
I feel bad for whoever takes over office after Bush leaves, whether it be Obama or McCain, because they've got a HELL of a cleanup job to do. President Bush sailed in with an easy time. But he left us with shambles of what used to be a great country.
*Flashback*
It was one day early in my 8th grade year (so it was 2002). In my grammar school, we used to start our day with morning announcements and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. Everyone was supposed to stand, put their hands on their hearts, and face the flag at the front of the room.
I had never really thought about what those words mean. I always just said them because that's what we were supposed to do and it had become a routine part of my day. But one day I said it and actually became aware of what I was saying:
I pledge allegiance, to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the republic*
for which it stands
one nation
under God
indivisible
with liberty, and justice for all.
of the United States of America
and to the republic*
for which it stands
one nation
under God
indivisible
with liberty, and justice for all.
Lies, lies, all goddamn lies.
Yes, I'm American. But I don't pledge allegiance to a damned flag or a country that can't seem to pledge allegiance to me simply because of the color of my skin. Liberty and justice for all. HA! There isn't liberty and justice for all. Sure, we can say whatever we want, and I reserve the right to talk SHIT about my country if I want because that's in my First Amendment rights, and I have the right to be dissatisfied with the way things are being run.
But I'll believe there's justice for all when we end racial profiling and bans on gay marriage and police brutality. I'll believe there's liberty when I feel like I have the freedom to control where my hard-earned tax money goes.
Until then, why would I say a pledge of allegiance to something I don't agree with?
*Note - It's been so long since I said the pledge of allegiance that when I tried typing it I actually did it wrong and didn't realize until much later that we say "republic", not "country".
--------
I hate paid advertisements. I used to love them. And now I hate them.
Yesterday I saw the most wonderful invention ever: a flat iron that would turn even the unruliest hair into silky, shiny, beautiful hair. I saw it with my own eyes! The guy even tested this flat iron on a black girl's hair so I KNEW it would work for me. My jaw was dropped through the whole commercial. And when they said you can try it out for only $14.99, I was hooked. I picked up my phone to call.
That's the thing, though. You can only try it for $14.99. I knew there had to be more to this deal.
So I checked it out online. And I found that the flat iron (plus another flat iron for free) could be mine...for three easy payments of $33.99. Yeah. So I'm paying $14.99 to try it and another 101.97 + tax+shipping&handling to keep it. I don't have that much money for a flat iron!
And boy, was I disappointed. I'm a hair product fiend, and I wanted that flat iron more than I've ever wanted any other hair styling product.
Misleading ass paid advertisement. Grrrr.
Yes, I'm American. But I don't pledge allegiance to a damned flag or a country that can't seem to pledge allegiance to me simply because of the color of my skin. Liberty and justice for all. HA! There isn't liberty and justice for all. Sure, we can say whatever we want, and I reserve the right to talk SHIT about my country if I want because that's in my First Amendment rights, and I have the right to be dissatisfied with the way things are being run.
But I'll believe there's justice for all when we end racial profiling and bans on gay marriage and police brutality. I'll believe there's liberty when I feel like I have the freedom to control where my hard-earned tax money goes.
Until then, why would I say a pledge of allegiance to something I don't agree with?
*Note - It's been so long since I said the pledge of allegiance that when I tried typing it I actually did it wrong and didn't realize until much later that we say "republic", not "country".
--------
I hate paid advertisements. I used to love them. And now I hate them.
Yesterday I saw the most wonderful invention ever: a flat iron that would turn even the unruliest hair into silky, shiny, beautiful hair. I saw it with my own eyes! The guy even tested this flat iron on a black girl's hair so I KNEW it would work for me. My jaw was dropped through the whole commercial. And when they said you can try it out for only $14.99, I was hooked. I picked up my phone to call.
That's the thing, though. You can only try it for $14.99. I knew there had to be more to this deal.
So I checked it out online. And I found that the flat iron (plus another flat iron for free) could be mine...for three easy payments of $33.99. Yeah. So I'm paying $14.99 to try it and another 101.97 + tax+shipping&handling to keep it. I don't have that much money for a flat iron!
And boy, was I disappointed. I'm a hair product fiend, and I wanted that flat iron more than I've ever wanted any other hair styling product.
Misleading ass paid advertisement. Grrrr.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
The Old Me
Believe it or not, my cam-whoring days started way in my sophomore year of high school, back when Tagged was the huge social networking site. These are some of the pictures from my Tagged page that I took years ago:
My super intellectual face
Just finished doing my hair
I look so young!
My favorite picture of all time. It's so mysterious. And yes...that's my real hair =)
One of the only posed pictures I ever took in glasses
I can't wait til my hair gets this length again
It's my Million Dollar Baby look. Wanna box??
Fooling around with the webcam
I wish I knew where those glasses are...those were stunnas for real!
My super intellectual face
Just finished doing my hair
I look so young!
My favorite picture of all time. It's so mysterious. And yes...that's my real hair =)
One of the only posed pictures I ever took in glasses
I can't wait til my hair gets this length again
It's my Million Dollar Baby look. Wanna box??
Fooling around with the webcam
I wish I knew where those glasses are...those were stunnas for real!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
STANROY!!!!
I just realized something rather interesting, and it may be a bit of a contradiction.
I'm listening to Soulja Boy's "Give Me A High Five", chilling in my room, sipping on Gatorade like I don't have a care in the world. And I've come to this realization:
Soulja Boy's lyrics may not be worth SHIT ON A STICK...but that dude is original when it comes to beats. Never mind that a lot of them sound alike. For the sake of argument, we'll say that just adds to his artist trademarkness.
Now, I'm not a Soulja Boy groupie...not at all. I can just appreciate his hype-man-style music. There's only one of his mainstream songs that doesn't get me moving, and that's "Soulja Girl" (I hate that song). I know if I need to get into a crunk mood, I can put on some Soulja Boy and get buck.
Wait, wait. I sense you are not quite following me. So I present to you Exibit A: Give Me A High Five. If you got speakers with bass, turn that shit UP! All the way!! You got a car with a trunk full of kickers? Put this song on a cd, turn the volume up, cruise through the park, and tell me you don't feel like the shit (or just pretend you are if such equipment is not available):
(Warning: this song does NOT sound as good without the bass)
Now I'll tell ya'll who the lyrical genius is: Arab. Yes. That nigga in the background who is always mentioned but you never hear? That dude SNAPS. Don't believe me? Listen (he's the second verse):
I think Arab needs to stop with the name throwing and actually get a track or two of his own instead of being the hype man's hype man. Then again, if he got a track and I just don't know it, please link it up because I want to hear it.
But finally...Soulja Boy is a crazy dude!! He is absolutely hilarious! I don't know if you've heard the "Stanroy" skit. Oh, you haven't? No worries...it's right here...
That bitch gone...that bitch left there! LMAO!!
I'm in a particularly silly mood right now. I don't know if this is some after effect of 2 hours of sleep and a long ass day or the candy bar I just ate or WHAT but I'm f-in HYPE! And I love it! It's so much better than feeling depressed and down in the dumps.
I'm off to find other constructive things to do...which will probably result in the writing of another blog post...we shall see...
I'm listening to Soulja Boy's "Give Me A High Five", chilling in my room, sipping on Gatorade like I don't have a care in the world. And I've come to this realization:
Soulja Boy's lyrics may not be worth SHIT ON A STICK...but that dude is original when it comes to beats. Never mind that a lot of them sound alike. For the sake of argument, we'll say that just adds to his artist trademarkness.
Now, I'm not a Soulja Boy groupie...not at all. I can just appreciate his hype-man-style music. There's only one of his mainstream songs that doesn't get me moving, and that's "Soulja Girl" (I hate that song). I know if I need to get into a crunk mood, I can put on some Soulja Boy and get buck.
Wait, wait. I sense you are not quite following me. So I present to you Exibit A: Give Me A High Five. If you got speakers with bass, turn that shit UP! All the way!! You got a car with a trunk full of kickers? Put this song on a cd, turn the volume up, cruise through the park, and tell me you don't feel like the shit (or just pretend you are if such equipment is not available):
(Warning: this song does NOT sound as good without the bass)
Now I'll tell ya'll who the lyrical genius is: Arab. Yes. That nigga in the background who is always mentioned but you never hear? That dude SNAPS. Don't believe me? Listen (he's the second verse):
I think Arab needs to stop with the name throwing and actually get a track or two of his own instead of being the hype man's hype man. Then again, if he got a track and I just don't know it, please link it up because I want to hear it.
But finally...Soulja Boy is a crazy dude!! He is absolutely hilarious! I don't know if you've heard the "Stanroy" skit. Oh, you haven't? No worries...it's right here...
That bitch gone...that bitch left there! LMAO!!
I'm in a particularly silly mood right now. I don't know if this is some after effect of 2 hours of sleep and a long ass day or the candy bar I just ate or WHAT but I'm f-in HYPE! And I love it! It's so much better than feeling depressed and down in the dumps.
I'm off to find other constructive things to do...which will probably result in the writing of another blog post...we shall see...
The Update
I have hurt myself in the most embarrassing way possible.
So I went to the hospital today, and let me say this: everyone should find a nice suburban community hospital to go to. I swear, that was the most pleasant hospital experience I've ever had. Everyone was nice: the receptionist, the nurse; the ER doctor was nicer than my primary care physician, the ladies who took my x-rays, the EMT guy who put the brace on my knee and subsequently brought me my crutches, the guy who gave me my discharge information sheet, and the receptionists as I was on my way out. It was like a Pleasantville scene.
Basically, I have bursitis, which happens when a small sac of fluid on your knee that cushions the bone and joints becomes inflamed. How did I get this? From walking up and down the stairs.
Yes, that's right. If there were ever more startling testimony that I'm horribly out of shape, it's the fact that I somehow managed to seriously hurt myself walking up and down some damn stairs.
To my defense, I've never lived in a multilevel home before. Sure, my house in Chicago has a basement and a ground floor, but everything I need is on one floor and I rarely have to go into the basement; at least, not nearly as much as I have had to here.
But still. I feel like a fatass without the weight.
Now I have to go to an orthopedic doctor so she can more carefully examine me and I guess perform surgery if necessary (Lord have mercy).
I need a nap lol...it was a long night and a long day...
I wonder if Tylenol has sleep-inducing abilities...
So I went to the hospital today, and let me say this: everyone should find a nice suburban community hospital to go to. I swear, that was the most pleasant hospital experience I've ever had. Everyone was nice: the receptionist, the nurse; the ER doctor was nicer than my primary care physician, the ladies who took my x-rays, the EMT guy who put the brace on my knee and subsequently brought me my crutches, the guy who gave me my discharge information sheet, and the receptionists as I was on my way out. It was like a Pleasantville scene.
Basically, I have bursitis, which happens when a small sac of fluid on your knee that cushions the bone and joints becomes inflamed. How did I get this? From walking up and down the stairs.
Yes, that's right. If there were ever more startling testimony that I'm horribly out of shape, it's the fact that I somehow managed to seriously hurt myself walking up and down some damn stairs.
To my defense, I've never lived in a multilevel home before. Sure, my house in Chicago has a basement and a ground floor, but everything I need is on one floor and I rarely have to go into the basement; at least, not nearly as much as I have had to here.
But still. I feel like a fatass without the weight.
Now I have to go to an orthopedic doctor so she can more carefully examine me and I guess perform surgery if necessary (Lord have mercy).
I need a nap lol...it was a long night and a long day...
I wonder if Tylenol has sleep-inducing abilities...
Friday, October 3, 2008
Cop It or Drop It: "LAX"
I copped The Game's LAX cd two days ago, and decided to wait until I'd listened to the whole thing a few times before I offered my opinion.
First, let's just say: The Game snapped. His album features such artists as Ice Cube, Lil Wayne, Ludacris, Ne-Yo, and DMX, to name a few.
My impression of LAX is that it's more laid back overall. This is definitely a riding in the car, windows down, cruising CD. It's got a few songs that make your head bob a little faster, like "Ya Heard" featuring Ludacris.
"LAX Files" is the deep focused song that you listen to when you're in the hoodie mode, and you got your hood and headphones on and you're in your own little world (in case you can't tell, LAX Files is my favorite song on the CD).
The Game takes it old school next with his song "Angel" featuring Common. Not gonna lie, this song really has Common written all over it...when you hear it, you'll understand why...I actually thought it was his song before I found out it was Game. But big ups, because this is a good song.
Another one of my personal favorite songs is "Money". This song just kind of gets stuck in your head because it's got such a great beat. All the beats on this album are good, but "Money"...man...it just stays in your head after you hear it!
All in all, "LAX" is diverse and it's actually a very refreshing break from a lot of hip hop songs coming out right now. This isn't one of those albums where the released singles are the only good songs on the album. This one actually is good all the way through. It's perfect for when you're chillin with the boys, riding in your whip, or just in the zone getting things done.
Final decision: Cop It
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Some More Deep Thoughts
I'm sitting here alone, listening to the new Game cd (which I will be reviewing soon) and reflecting on my week, and I just have to share some deep shit I learned.
There's something powerful about a parent's love, that unconditional love.
But there's something even more powerful when someone who isn't your parent loves you and treats you as if you are their own offspring.
That type of love, when realized, is powerful enough to break even the strongest person down in tears.
It sure breaks me down every time I think about it.
Sure, I have a mother and a father, though I have no idea where my dad is.
My mom - well, she does her best, and I love her for it. She's always willing to help when she can...but sometimes she just can't.
So I have learned over the years to turn to my aunt and my uncle for guidance, advice, and help.
My aunt was the first person to know when I got my period, the first to know when I lost my virginity, the only person I listened to when it came to learning how to take care of myself.
My uncle helps me achieve my business goals, took me to the streets to learn to defend myself, exposed me to a world I would have never seen.
I am their first niece...and first child.
They were at almost every piano recital, competition, or concert.
Neither of my real parents ever saw one.
Psshh...my dad probably doesn't even know I play piano.
They were at every play I was ever in.
My parents never got to see those either.
And I'm sure there's reasons my mom and dad couldn't make it.
I don't hold it against them anymore.
I had a moment.
A moment that made me just sit there and cry.
You guys know about my knee...
I went home with that bad knee, and went back to school with that bad knee
and when I talked to my aunt and uncle, they said I had to go to the hospital.
So I called my mom, because I don't want to go alone.
I'm scared.
She tells me she doesn't have the money to come get me
and that the car doesn't work...
basically, she asks me if I can find someone else who can take me.
I wanted her to understand that at a time like this
it isn't about just being able to get to the hospital...
I could find a ride, or catch the bus.
It's about the fear behind being at a hospital and being told some horrible news
and about the little girl in me just wanting her mommy to be there
...
the next day, I told my uncle my mom couldn't get me.
Without hesitation he told me that he'd fly in and come get me this weekend.
Imagine that.
This man works in Alabama, and only gets to see his wife and children on weekends.
Not even every weekend, at that.
He's always on the road, always busy, always traveling.
TODAY IS HE AND HIS WIFE'S 14 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!
And yet with all of that,
he still made no excuses
all he said was
"sounds like you need your uncle"
and told me he'd be on his way as soon as he could.
Honestly, if that isn't unconditional, I don't know what is.
I honestly don't know where I'd be without my aunt and uncle.
There's something powerful about a parent's love, that unconditional love.
But there's something even more powerful when someone who isn't your parent loves you and treats you as if you are their own offspring.
That type of love, when realized, is powerful enough to break even the strongest person down in tears.
It sure breaks me down every time I think about it.
Sure, I have a mother and a father, though I have no idea where my dad is.
My mom - well, she does her best, and I love her for it. She's always willing to help when she can...but sometimes she just can't.
So I have learned over the years to turn to my aunt and my uncle for guidance, advice, and help.
My aunt was the first person to know when I got my period, the first to know when I lost my virginity, the only person I listened to when it came to learning how to take care of myself.
My uncle helps me achieve my business goals, took me to the streets to learn to defend myself, exposed me to a world I would have never seen.
I am their first niece...and first child.
They were at almost every piano recital, competition, or concert.
Neither of my real parents ever saw one.
Psshh...my dad probably doesn't even know I play piano.
They were at every play I was ever in.
My parents never got to see those either.
And I'm sure there's reasons my mom and dad couldn't make it.
I don't hold it against them anymore.
I had a moment.
A moment that made me just sit there and cry.
You guys know about my knee...
I went home with that bad knee, and went back to school with that bad knee
and when I talked to my aunt and uncle, they said I had to go to the hospital.
So I called my mom, because I don't want to go alone.
I'm scared.
She tells me she doesn't have the money to come get me
and that the car doesn't work...
basically, she asks me if I can find someone else who can take me.
I wanted her to understand that at a time like this
it isn't about just being able to get to the hospital...
I could find a ride, or catch the bus.
It's about the fear behind being at a hospital and being told some horrible news
and about the little girl in me just wanting her mommy to be there
...
the next day, I told my uncle my mom couldn't get me.
Without hesitation he told me that he'd fly in and come get me this weekend.
Imagine that.
This man works in Alabama, and only gets to see his wife and children on weekends.
Not even every weekend, at that.
He's always on the road, always busy, always traveling.
TODAY IS HE AND HIS WIFE'S 14 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!
And yet with all of that,
he still made no excuses
all he said was
"sounds like you need your uncle"
and told me he'd be on his way as soon as he could.
Honestly, if that isn't unconditional, I don't know what is.
I honestly don't know where I'd be without my aunt and uncle.
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