What A Night

Goodness gracious.

I shouldn't even be blogging right now. I've got a feeling I might still be a little drunk.

Countless jello shots, smirnoff, and UV will do that to you.

I went to a sex toy party last night for the very first time, and it was actually a pretty exciting experience. For those who may have never attended one, it's basically like one of those Tupperware parties except with vibrators and creams. The woman presenting was NOT FUNNY though...she was actually really lame, and she thought it was an amazing idea to insert "grandma" into the most awkward situations, like "Put this calendar on your grandma's fridge so she can try positions" and all other kinds of things that just were not funny. To her credit, she tried, and we had a few genuinely hilarious moments (what can't be hilarious when a group of girls are passing around vibrators that rotate??).

Guys, if you don't know what items you're competing with, you need to hightail it to a sex store IMMEDIATELY and see your competition.

I had been warned by Amardo before I went to the party not to buy any dildos, which is understandable. Why would I need a dildo when I have him?? Duh...

So I bought this cream that numbs whatever you put it on and some love dice.

Probably the best thing about this party wasn't the toys I got. It was the people I met. I met some really cool girls and was in the middle of a big ass party talking to my jello shot buddy about whether or not she had just had sex with her boyfriend and whether she had used something she just bought. You can only see that type of bonding at a sex toy party.

Girls (and guys too if ya'll want, even though that's kinda gay), if you haven't been to one, FIND ONE. Go to it. I'm convinced that this is something every girl needs to attend at least once.

Right now I swear I'm still drunk so I think I'm going to drink some Gatorade to prevent a hangover and watch TV until I pass out. I'm sure I'll be blogging later, though.