Life Isn't Fair

Note: I'm normally a mild mannered, nonconfrontational girl. And believe it or not, this post is watered down compared to how angry I actually was (yes, that's possible). Don't worry, I'm not so angry now, but I was when I wrote this:

How did this happen?

Who was the one gathering information about apartments? Who was the one riding with to view them and discuss affordable prices? Who did they put the responsibility of paying rent on?

And who ended up with the smallest room?

"First come first serve". That's bullshit. First come first serve applies to people who don't know each other, people who start out with an equal chance at getting the best. First come first serve doesn't apply to people moving in together when two of them did all of the work finding it.

I can't go back to school yet...because I'm working. I have to stay in Chicago as long as I can doing something I REALLY DON'T ENJOY so that I have money to pay rent so we DON'T GET EVICTED. And because of that, I have to get the smallest room?

Who does my roommate think she is to do NO WORK finding a place to stay, NO WORK viewing apartments, NO WORK making appointments, she DIDN'T PAY RENT last month, and yet she still thinks she deserves a bigger room?? WHAT THE FUCK??

I'm more than mad. I'm more than furious. I am livid. Absolutely downright steam-out-the-ears livid.

It's not even about the smaller room, because in all honesty had we chosen and someone had given me a good enough reason to take it, I would have. I'm just that type of person. What I don't appreciate is not having the choice. I don't appreciate being told "Oh, you have the smaller room. But we're going to give you a small discount on your rent for your trouble".

I HATE FEELING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF. Anybody that knows me knows I'll bend over backwards for the people I care about. Ask my mom. Ask my boyfriend. Ask my friends. I'm a responsibility taker, even if I get in over my head sometimes. But the point is, I do things for people and I HATE IT when they turn around and do stuff like this. They know that I'm too quiet and nonconfrontational to raise a huge stink about it, and plus, I'm not there! What the fuck can I do 80-something miles away? Drive all the way out to Dekalb and throw the girls stuff out the room? Oh yeah, that's a real good way to settle things.

I feel backed into a corner. The thing is, when I feel like that, I come out swinging. We haven't even started living together yet...these girls don't want me swinging this early in the game.