It only took one week. It took one whole week for the nasty circulation of viruses to spread around campus.
I think it's a viral conspiracy. I can see a little bacteria convention, where some zealous dictator instructs his/her faithful followers to kill the entire college student population, or at least to infect them all.
The little soldiers lay low for a while. They make their way hastily from body to body via body fluids (yes, I know, ew) and germs on doorknobs and shower tiles and kitchen appliances. They manifest in couches and on the TV remote. And once they're in, they're in. They don't like to attack immediately. They give you a false sense of hope, leading students to run around pointing fingers at their sickly friends, saying
"Ha ha hahaha! Dumbass! I'm not sick! Look at me! Look at me!! I'm invincible!"
only to find two days later that they, too, are confined to their beds, cursing their friends with runny noses and headaches and sore throats. It's a horrible thing.
I've got so many germs surrounding me I can see them. My roommate's boyfriend and my best friend were both sick yesterday. Then my roomie got sick. Then my boyfriend got sick. And now, I'm staring sickness in the eye, and it looks like death and smells like Robitussin.
Well, guess what, little buggers? I came packing...with Halls Defense! Yes! Take THAT, suckers! I have popped so many of these in just a two hour time that someone would think they were laced with crack. I think I've already taken care of all the vitamin C my body is going to need for a week! And I'm still not done! I won't be done until I'm sure that I'm safe from the bad germs!!
How do ya like me now, scummy sickness?! Don't make my HD bust a cap in some germy ass!!