Do you know what it feels like to come to a realization and suddenly it seems the world is smiling? The sun shines brighter, and everything just feels better?
I was sitting in front of my computer, wallowing in my own self-pity, and then feeling more sorry for myself that this was what my life had come to. I was preparing to write all sorts of sad, reflective blog posts that would have convinced you guys even further that it's time for me to check myself into a padded room with a straightjacket. Then I was going to make a cup of coffee and sniff silently as I tried to make myself busy with mundane things that won't matter in the long run anyway.
But then, guess what comes along?? The realization that TODAY IS SEPTEMBER 1ST. Why is September 1st so important? It simply means a break. A transition in months. August was horrible; in fact, it was probably the worst August of my life (though it did have it's strong points). But this is September, and I'm going to start it off just as I would a new school year or the New Year.
You may be wondering why it took a whole new month for me to decide things should change. When you throw a bowling ball down the lane can you change it's direction once it has left your fingers? NO! But you can angle it before you release. That's kind of how the month thing works. Once you've gone halfway through the month and thrown the ball, you feel as though you can't really change it's direction...it's already heading down the lane (or, if it's like my August, heading down the gutter). But then your turn comes again, and it's a fresh turn. And you can adjust for things like the stupid people in the lane next to you or the annoying front pin that never falls, and you can change the direction before you let go. And then you win.
Okay, maybe things don't work that dramatically, but it sounds good.
Either way it goes, I'm ready for September. I mean, I've already been to hell and back, so it's not like Life (that bitch) has a hell of a lot to throw back at me. And it's not like I can't say "Hey, I've been through worse, so I know I can get through this".
Of course, I'm still going to get my coffee, because coffee just makes everything better. But I'm going to work at clearing my never-ending to do list, and I'm going to just do the things that make me feel better.
Happy September, everybody!