Thursday, September 11, 2008

The New Mantra

Not a single salty tear
Not a feeling in my chest
Baby I'm feeling no stress
I'm too fly to be depressed...
What a timely quote!!

For months I've been battling this semi-depressive state. It's done quite a number to me, affecting my eating and sleeping habits, and forcing me to cry constantly, and all the other physical and emotional implications of depressive tendencies.

Today, I was writing a post for Blogger alone in my room and I felt myself start to get upset. The more I wrote, the more upset I got, and the more justified I felt for being so upset. Then of course, the tears came up, all eager that I was feeling so upset and wanting to leave their mark on the situation.

I took a shower and there decided that I was going to let my troubles and sadness slide off me just like the water was. By the time I was done, I was pumped. And right after I finished getting dressed, the song "Go On Girl" by Ne-yo came on. I was instantly a bit nostalgic because I listened to that song last year whenever I needed a little self-motivation, if only for those four lines you see above.

I spent over 2 hours searching for loans online, and I wasn't very successful. I wanted to cry, because a loan is my only chance at getting back into school. I felt so sad I wanted to ball up and go to sleep (yes, that's how bad it made me feel. I'm telling you, I'm in a bad state). But I had to remember that I'm too fly to be depressed. I can't be letting all these little things get to me in such a big way. And I felt better.

So a thank you goes out to Ne-yo for being the source of my new mantra. Hopefully I can continue to remember this every time I want to let something bring down my mood or cause me to cry...and maybe you can try it too...

Because we're all too fly to be depressed...

8 comments:

Video Vix[o]n said...

ain't that the truth. after my whole whoring episode, i've been a bit depressed as well, but i'm trying to snap out of it.

I'm too fly to be depressed... I like that.

KC said...

I'm too fly to be depressed.. I like that too ! :) Anyway Keep trying gal ! Never give up ! Patience is the key !

Raft3r said...

Greetings from Vegas!
=)

Demiera said...

@ video vix[o]n - Yeah depression is really hard to snap out of, especially if you feel alone...

@ kc - Thank you! Its a hard and long road but I gotta do what i gotta do no matter how difficult or depressed i might get...

@ raft3r - Hey! Greetings from Chicago/Dekalb!

Bridge Schmidt said...

Demiera, it's my first time here, though I always see you writing comments on brother KC's posts.

I feel so happy for you that you finally overcome your depression! I, too, feel sad most of the time especially when I think about my parents and siblings, because my family aren't here.

When I went to school in college, my Mom also pays my tuition in partial payment so I always write the registrar department a special letter to allow me take all the exams. Life is tough Demiera.

Whenever I feel emotionally low, or in pain, or so bad about myself, I write my feelings in a piece of paper, get my pen after, and start messing the entire thing until my anger is released and I feel fine, then I throw my paper in a thrash can. My problems too are in the thrash can already!

Phew! That was a long story aint it? Anyway, have a nice day! Remember, if there's a will, there's a way!

Demiera said...

@ Bridge - Wow! Your comment was really uplifting! =) I've considered doing the pen thing so many times...even writing my feelings in a letter and burning it! It's always worth a try! And you are so right...where there is a will there IS a way. Thank you!

Bridge Schmidt said...

You are welcome. I just wanna let you know that I read your response. And thanks for the comment as well =) Keep in touch!

PhlyyGirl said...

Aww hon.
You're right: You're way to phlyy to be depressed.

As for the school thing, I'm not sure what school you go to, but I know at mine if you can actually go to the office and talk to someone face to face, you have a better chance of someone finding a loophole or something that will let you back in.
It might take some time and it gets frustrating because you have to keep going over and over and sometimes you feel like you're virtually begging, but if you want it, IT WILL HAPPEN.
Trust me cause I been there, done that AND got a fuckin t-shirt for my trouble.
But at the end of the day, I got my education too so good luck to ya!