O Say, Can You Sleep and Text At The Same Time?

Wouldn't the world be nice if we could multitask sleep?

Yes, I fit the typical "busy American in a big city" stereotype. I walk down the street using as many electronic devices as I can carry while sipping my coffee. I eat, drive and text at the same time. I talk on the phone and watch South Park while painting my nails. Even right now I'm writing this blog post, eating yogurt, and texting Amardo, all while I'm technically "at work".

There is only one thing in the world you cannot multitask, though, and it's sleep.

Not to say that I've never tried.

I've tried sleeping while working, eating while sleep, watching TV sleep, and even texting or talking on the phone while sleep. I should mention that in these instances I don't mean I tried doing these things while in REM sleep...I mean when you're at that delicate spot between truly sleep and awake.

I can type while in this sleep limbo, and the sentences make sense as sentences, but the idea is completely alien. I fell asleep eating once, only to wake up, take a bite, fall back asleep, and continue this process until I had finally finished eating. Although I'm not sure if that qualifies as a sleep-eating attempt or is just a stunning reminder of just how much of a fatass I am :).

The funniest sleep multitasking attempt I make, though, is my attempt to text while sleep. Because of my ability to type with my eyes closed or focused elsewhere (which is why it's so easy for me to fall asleep while typing), I was under the false impression that I could send a text message while sleep. Let's just say being in that dreamy state between sleep and awake+acrylic nails+a failing space bar do not an intelligent text make.

Sleep is supposed to relax and refresh the body, so I suppose it's a good thing we can't do anything while sleeping. Then again, I'm one of those people who finds sleep a disposable thing in light of doing other, more enjoyable things.

I'll bet humans millions of years from now will evolve into creatures that can multitask while they're sleeping, because we spend so much time trying to do it now.

Lucky bastards.